One of the things that I have been contemplating recently is how humans change as we age. Of course you can break it down to a cellular level, but I’m not talking about a complexity such as that. For example, when I was young, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I could not WAIT for Halloween. I would sit in the living room and watch Fox Family (which is ABC family now) and watch the month long Halloween specials they would do. I would do the same thing with the Disney channel, and to an extent Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. But the excitement I felt for this holiday at a young age is almost indescribable. I constantly had a ball of excitement in my stomach for the entire month. School was a blast during this time as well because of the “scary” stories and candy we would receive. But, now being a twenty-one year old, that excitement has worn off. Yes, I still enjoy Halloween, but that feeling that I had then has left me, and I have never quite felt that same emotion again. I mean, yes, you can say I don’t feel the same now because I don’t do the things I would have done then (i.e. trick or treating), so in short you could say one of the biggest answers to this question would be due to what is acceptable in society. But that goes for all things. I could keep listing holidays, but I think we should touch on another topic that deals with this same idea. For me, it started back in seventh grade when I got my first “real” girlfriend. I had this feeling that just like Halloween, is indescribable. I was excited. So excited. I carried this excitement with me 24/7. Being at that age with all of the thoughts rushing through your head as to what a relationship is supposed to be. Back then, a “date” at that age was going to the movies. So, you know; being the cool guy I am, I was “dating” a girl who was in the eighth grade. I was the man. Not only did I have a “girlfriend” but she was older than me. SCORE. Back then we only wanted to get older, but now the older I get, I wish I was younger. Cliche I know, but forgive me. But being in that dark theater watching those cheasy early 2000’s movies was the most excited and daring I ever felt being that young. Once you break up, that excitement fades. And every first date that I’ve had since then shares a similar level of excitement, but I still have never quite felt that emotion again. Yes, I guess you could say it was due to the hormones ripping and roaring throughout my body, but the question still remains as to why we never experience that emotion (at that level) again. To know that I will never feel the same way as I did then somewhat saddens me. Christmas is the same way, you age and realize that Christmas isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be. It’s still fun to come together with your family to exchange gifts, but the “magic” is gone. My life has changed a lot. I used to spend my days as a youngster sitting in front of the tv watching cartoons and playing video games with a feeling of wonder and excitement about “who’s house am I going to this weekend” or, “who am I going to ask to come over to my house this weekend”. Now, I go to school, then go to work, then sit in front of my computer and play video games with no excitement whatsoever besides seeing my lovely girlfriend and seeing my family. That magic has faded. Nothing quite entertains me anymore the way it did when I was younger. High school ended and that lovely life that went with it is gone too. I’m becoming an adult, and that thought scares me. Responsibility is a scary thing. It steals your life away, but at the same time it is a necessity.
I know this is a bunch of rambling, that’s what it was meant to be. But maybe you have felt or feel the same ways that I have. I don’t think I am the only one.
I’d planned to spend this whole discussion outlining the tough choice one faces when asked, “Who would you rather?” A question of this nature forces us to examine our inner desires, dreams, preferences, prejudices, etc. Or it can just be stupid. Like where this is going tonight.
Around eight o’ clock this evening, I became obsessed with listening to the song, “Halloween.” Why? Because it’s almost fall. Almost not-hot. And almost Halloween.
And what, like clockwork, also arrives each Halloween season at the local cineplex ( motion picture shows for you old-timers)? Horror movies.
So, I asked myself, ” Who would you rather (get stalked by)? A corporeal or incorporeal evil thing?”
Category A: Corporeal Killers (the ones with bodies and weapons)
- Existence easily verified – unless you’re blind, you’ll be able to see ’em.
- Corporeal body – to stab, beat with baseball bat, push, scream in ears of, scratch, and so forth with various defense techniques. This corporeal body also means they must stick to the physical plane, i.e. no walking through walls or flying through the wind to catch you. Unless it’s the night flier.
- Low SPH (stalk-per-hour) speed – due to the heftiness of most corporeal killer’s bodies (you’d think killing would burn more calories), any moron with two feet should be able to outrun the chunky killer. If not, maybe you deserve to die.
- Determination – think they’ll get tired? Nope. They’ve got one track minds. And like the track around the lake on the Friday the 13th video game, it always leads right to you. Or them. Either way there’s a sharp object with your name written all over it – probably in blood.
Poor George doesn’t stand a chance.
- Corporal body – what makes them easy to see/touch also means they can do likewise with you. Barf! And killers usually have fat, sausage-like fingers. So double barf!
- History – poor, poor wittle killer, he had such a bad childhood, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so dude’s got issues. And he’s going to take it out on somebody. And that somebody will probably be you.
Category B: Incorporeal Beings (the ones made of pure eeeeevil straight from the depths of hell and other bad places, i.e. demons)
Words are Weapons – as cliché as it sounds, it’s pretty much the only way to vanquish them. This is a pretty cheap method of self-defense. Call up a priest and watch as he sends them back into the fiery depths of hell with a few choice phrases. Bonus points if you understand the Latin.
Incorporeal – yes! this means you can pull up the covers and shut your eyes real tight and they’ll go away. Bottom line is you can’t see them. So, if your imagination is strong enough to counteract all those scratches you hear going down your wall at 3 a.m., why not imagine a cuddly kitten instead? Those aren’t scary. At all. Aww….
No demons here. No sir. Just little tiny kitty claws.
Sexist – They don’t seem to like the males so much. So that’s good for all you dudes. For us chicks, not so much. If you’re a female, you’re screwed. And if it’s an incubus type demon, that’ll be literally.
Incorporeal – they can float, flitter, slither, get inside you on occasion. All in all they do all sorts of creepy things. Plus, and here’s a big con for all you manly men – you can’t hit ‘em. No matter how big your muscles, how many MMA moves you’ve learned watching pay-per-view events, you can’t touch ‘em. So, in essence, the demon turns you into a wimp without even trying.
Possession – this is a huge con. No explanation needed.
Sometimes, they come back – now, this is also true of corporeal killers too, but at least you’ll know when they’re back. The demon could just be sitting in that chair you never feel like sitting in for months, years, watching you all invisible-like.
*Disclaimer – Dream state killers that exist corporeally in an incorporeal environment were excluded from this discussion. It got too confusing.