Who would you rather?

I’d planned to spend this whole discussion outlining the tough choice one faces when asked, “Who would you rather?” A question of this nature forces us to examine our inner desires, dreams, preferences, prejudices, etc. Or it can just be stupid. Like where this is going tonight.

Around eight o’ clock this evening, I became obsessed with listening to the song, “Halloween.” Why? Because it’s almost fall. Almost not-hot. And almost Halloween.

And what, like clockwork, also arrives each Halloween season at the local cineplex ( motion picture shows for you old-timers)? Horror movies.

So, I asked myself, ” Who would you rather (get stalked by)? A corporeal or incorporeal evil thing?”

Category A: Corporeal Killers (the ones with bodies and weapons)

Pros:

  1. Existence easily verified – unless you’re blind, you’ll be able to see ’em.
  2. Corporeal body – to stab, beat with baseball bat, push, scream in ears of, scratch, and so forth with various defense techniques. This corporeal body also means they must stick to the physical plane, i.e. no walking through walls or flying through the wind to catch you. Unless it’s the night flier.
  3. night flier

  4. Low SPH (stalk-per-hour) speed – due to the heftiness of most corporeal killer’s bodies (you’d think killing would burn more calories), any moron with two feet should be able to outrun the chunky killer. If not, maybe you deserve to die.

Cons:

  1. Determination – think they’ll get tired? Nope. They’ve got one track minds. And like the track around the lake on the Friday the 13th video game, it always leads right to you. Or them. Either way there’s a sharp object with your name written all over it – probably in blood.
  2. Circle of death

    Poor George doesn’t stand a chance.

  3. Corporal body –  what makes them easy to see/touch also means they can do likewise with you. Barf! And killers usually have fat, sausage-like fingers. So double barf!
  4. History – poor, poor wittle killer, he had such a bad childhood, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so dude’s got issues. And he’s going to take it out on somebody. And that somebody will probably be you.

Category B: Incorporeal Beings (the ones made of pure eeeeevil straight from the depths of hell and other bad places, i.e. demons)

Pros:

  1. Words are Weapons –  as cliché as it sounds, it’s pretty much the only way to vanquish them. This is a pretty cheap method of self-defense. Call up a priest and watch as he sends them back into the fiery depths of hell with a few choice phrases. Bonus points if you understand the Latin.
  2. Incorporeal – yes! this means you can pull up the covers and shut your eyes real tight and they’ll go away. Bottom line is you can’t see them. So, if your imagination is strong enough to counteract all those scratches you hear going down your wall at 3 a.m., why not imagine a cuddly kitten instead? Those aren’t scary. At all. Aww….
  3. kitties

    No demons here. No sir. Just little tiny kitty claws.

  4. Sexist – They don’t seem to like the males so much. So that’s good for all you dudes. For us chicks, not so much. If you’re a female, you’re screwed. And if it’s an incubus type demon, that’ll be literally.

Cons:

  1. Incorporeal – they can float, flitter, slither, get inside you on occasion. All in all they do all sorts of creepy things. Plus, and here’s a big con for all you manly men – you can’t hit ‘em. No matter how big your muscles, how many MMA moves you’ve learned watching pay-per-view events, you can’t touch ‘em. So, in essence, the demon turns you into a wimp without even trying.
  2. Possession – this is a huge con. No explanation needed.
  3. ragan

  4. Sometimes, they come back – now, this is also true of corporeal killers too, but at least you’ll know when they’re back. The demon could just be sitting in that chair you never feel like sitting in for months, years, watching you all invisible-like.

*Disclaimer – Dream state killers that exist corporeally in an incorporeal environment were excluded from this discussion. It got too confusing.

Sweet Dreams.

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The Fall of Release

Fall is typically the time for things of new… For everything but mother nature. The fall line up on television rears its head, great video games seem to come out each week, and fantastic music all come out right at the same time.

For example, last tuesday a small game named Halo Reach came out. Thinking back on the games that have come out this year, they seem to shy in comparison to Halo Reach (with the exception of Red Dead Redemption and StarCraft II.) So, as gamers get their game time in protecting Reach from the Convenant, another small little game called Civilization V came out today. Now, Civilization V is more of a cult game than Reach is. It has a very loyal following, but since the game only comes out on the PC (minus Civ Revolution) only those special breed of gamers on the PC have access to it. Time management is becoming a must if one is to get their prime game time in now a days. I’m juggling StarCraft II, World of Warcraft, and Reach currently, and I have to say it’s getting tough because I have friends on each game that want to play. But, let’s look ahead a little further. Later next month, Fable III and Fallout New Vegas comes out, and then in November we have Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Little Big Planet 2, and World of Warcraft: Cataclysm. All BIG games for the gaming industry. And most of them have collector’s editions, which if your a geek like I am, you have to get for a whopping $79.99 (or even 149.99 for the Call of Duty Prestige edition). Things are getting tough financially for the gamer.

But moving on, this is just a pleasant surprise for me, but music wise, today I learned that a new Jimmy Eat World album and a Ben Folds album comes out on 9.28.10. That’s NEXT week. 2010 has been a fantastic year for music, no matter what genre you’re interested in. I can only hope that someday soon our “Pop” artists steer away from this odd techno dance funk everyone seems to be stuck in. I guess I miss the 90’s and early 2000’s music too much sometimes.

Lastly, Manhattan Boardwalk is another HBO blockbuster that will be dominating television like the Sopranos once did. Sadly, I don’t have HBO, so I have to look forward to new episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia each week! Now don’t get me wrong, there are many other television programs coming out this fall, but when it’s aired on CBS or NBC I tend to be wary. Hawaii 5-0 actually has been well received in closed showings, so I’m actually kind of excited for that. “Book ’em Dan-O.”

Books – The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson, The Fall by Guillermo Del Toro.

Anyways, this year has been a busy year, and it will only get more crazy as it goes by. I just hope that the Comic Book industry starts kicking back in gear soon. Maybe once Bruce Wayne returns…

Now go and conquer the world.

There’s 150, and more to see…

There have been a lot of these so called fake trailers popping up recently. Other than the several StarWars fan films, the internet has been given a Mortal Kombat trailer, and as of this week, an amazing Pokemon movie trailer. Now, this isn’t just a cartoonish typical Pokemon movie. Oh no, this is something much more.

And if you didn’t catch the Mortal Kombat trailer, here it is.

Enjoy.

Okay

Drinking and Video Games

It’s that time of year again! Yep, you guessed! BREWFEST time in World of Warcraft. Not quite Oktoberfest, but Brewfest is a fun time nevertheless. Some may find it appealing to, you know, actually go out and get drunk. But others actually prefer getting drunk in the cyber realm of reality. The use of alcohol has been prevalent in games, especially within the last decade. One of the first things that actually comes to mind is the drunken stupor you can get Nico to in Grand Theft Auto IV. One would actually go to a bar in the game, become intoxicated, and basically play a mini game by trying to stay on two feet as you walk out of the bar heading to your car. Virtual drunk driving, aint that the bitter end?

Nico had a rough night.

But, back to Azeroth. Brewfest is the World of Warcraft equivalent of Oktoberfest. It is a time where the Alliance and Horde can come together and have drunken shenanigans in a make- shift armistice. In each Capital City (Orgrimmar for the Horde, and Ironforge for the Alliace), players come together to drink away their raiding worries, zap pink elephants, eat many kinds of sausages and cheese, and save the say from the Dark Iron dwarves from stealing kegs. And of course, each year Coren Direbrew comes to try to ruin the party, so a swift kick in the pants is always in order for him to get his loot and mounts.

Oh Brewfest...

And if you aren’t careful…

After a day of binge drinking, this is usually where you find yourself.

These two examples are only two of many video games that have some form of alcohol consumption involved. It’s interesting to see how the love of drinking is actually popping up into video games. Some cases, in a good light, and in others, a bad light. Yet nevertheless, even in something as silly as Brewfest, drinking has become such an accepted part of society that we pursue it in the virtual world also. And don’t forget, beer are go good with pizza.

So, go grab your stein and have some fun, and always have a designated driver for your vehicle… or your mount.